When Safety Becomes Scanning: Hypervigilance in Romantic Relationships
Have you ever found yourself constantly bracing for something to go wrong in your relationship—even when things are going well? Maybe you overanalyze texts, feel on edge when your partner seems distant, or struggle to fully relax around them. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing hypervigilance: A nervous system response I often see in folks who’ve been through relational hurt in the past.
Let’s talk about what it is, why it happens, and how it can affect your romantic relationships.
"Why Attachment Matters: Understanding the Roots of Connection and Healing"
When clients first come to therapy, they’re often seeking answers—why do I keep repeating the same patterns in relationships? Why do I feel anxious when I get close to someone, or shut down when someone gets too close to me? Why do I struggle with trusting others—or myself?
One of the frameworks I use to help make sense of these questions is attachment theory. It’s not just a psychological concept—it’s a lens through which we can understand the way we connect, love, and cope with emotional needs. It can be a powerful foundation for healing.